I am a big fan of creepypastas and really love them so much, I started to date a girl. This girl had hyper-realistic eyes, which were so cute. I loved her and she loved me. Until one day, a team of undead zombie pig business ninjas attacked me and her. We both died, but luckily, I was made out of...
Before we get to that, we have to go to this story.
I hate creepy pastas, because they taste horrible. Creepypastas, however, are really cool and scary and creepy and saucy and big and nice and evil and bad and good and dark and hyper-realistic, but most of all, they are pasta, and pasta is my favorite...
Before we get to that, we have to go to this story.
I was at my computer one night when I got an email with an attached DVD. It was from a person whom's email is unknownovernine9001.geemale.com. I took the DVD and plugged it into my VCR, and clicked "play". What happened was...
Before we get to that, we have to answer the first story's question.
Spoons. Fortunately, undead zombie pig business ninjas love ice cream, so they took a spoon each, and ate some pickle-flavored ice cream, until they remembered that undead zombie pig business ninjas are allergic to ice cream. No one died, but the undead zombie pig business ninjas suddenly became covered in Hyper-realistic Blood, which one of them spelled out E.
And now back to the story that was supposed to take place after this story, but was interrupted by another story, which was interrupted by this one, which is now being interrupted by this message telling everyone that there is a story being interrupted by an interrupting story being interrupted by an interrupting message.
Color. Indeed, pasta is my favorite color, and when I went to my computer, I saw a single blood on the screen. Hyper-realistic Blood, which spelled out X.
And now back to the last story which was interrupted by two stories ended with two messages.
A tall black figure stood there, and then the screen cut to black. The DVD had ended. Then I remembered "Oh yeah!, this is a DVD, not a VCR tape." So then I put it in the toaster, set it on a 7 for about 4.1842 minutes, then took it out, spit on it (to cool it down), then plugged it in to my email account, and then placed it on the counter, which contained a secret message. The message was created out of blood. Super hyper-realistic magic red blood. The blood started to float in the air, and then started to spin around me. The blood died and bled to death (It died of a car accident). The blood spilled all over the floor, and spelled out one letter, which was E.
After writing this story, I soon found out that the letters the blood spelled out was E, X, and E, which spelled EXE, which is coincidentally the name of this story (or at least part of it).
So then, I got up and heard someone knocking on my door.
I instantly knew it was a person with no heart, a person who I despise this very day; MisterBoy.
It was the mailman, but he did something very bad to me the first day I was born; he killed my parents! He was born on the same day I was born, and so that makes us twins. Luckily, my mom was made of forks, and MisterBoy loves ice cream, so he ate ice cream, then exploded into a million pieces, which I then proceeded to eat, but then I had to use the bathroom. I used the bathroom, and then looked inside.
It was mom.
I said hi, then she handed me a DVD with a permanent marker that says don't play.
I said bye, and then she left.
I waited 24 years, 52 days, 9 hours, 22 minutes, and 47.183 seconds until I immediately placed the DVD in my computer, saying to myself that I am observing the DVD and not playing it, finding a loophole in the DVD's permanent marker sorcery. I accepted the Terms and Agreements, and then the DVD installed a game called A Pasta that is the Creepy. I turned it on, and then I started to record my desktop with an iPhone/Android/Nokia/Motorola/Blackberry/Windows/[Insert Phone Name HERE]. I proceeded to observe the game. What appeared first was the word blood on my screen. It smelled of blood, Hyper-realistic blood. I pressed play and it took me to a picture of a little girl with a hearty smile on her face, not creepy at all. The teacher called her in, and she went. When she was inside, it started raining, and a little boy came inside. He was about 700 feet tall, and he wanted to love the little girl, so he fucked her.
After that, the class went on and went to recess.
What happened after that was totally just for love.
He killed her.
I was sad, but it at least showed a picture of her. She was naked and had green pants, with a flower shirt on. The shark on her shirt came to life and started chomping her. She lost an arm and started to ooze blood, hyper-realistic blood, from her socket. The 700 foot little boy fucked her and they lived happily ever after, and then the shark finally finished her off, and she was covered with hyper-realistic blood. The blood in this image was so hyper-realistic, you could see the redness in it, varying with the 50 shades of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple in the background of the image.
I was able to move now, but I tripped on a wire, fell to the ground, and then awoke the little girl, then she plucked a feather off of her hair and died (from a car accident). She fell to the ground, mumbled something softly, and then died a horrible death in which she exploded because of the hyper-realistic blood, hyper-realistic blood.
I then got up from my chair, went on my phone, and looked up at the sky. It was dark outside. I went to the window, closed it, and went outside. I saw someone say something so softly, someone sadly slipped, slid sloppily slow, stopped, stood still, stamped sixteen signs (it was part of her job), then died from an overload of the letter "U", spilling hyper-realistic, hyper-realistic red blood all over the hyper-realistic floor, which was covered in hyper-realistic blood which hyper-realistically spelled out a hyper-realistic letter, which was a hyper-realistic F.
No wait, it was a J, yeah, it was a J.
Anyways, I went home and blogged all over my blog about the letter J, saying that it relates to the letter Z in the way that they are both letters and usually written black. While I was blogging, however, the game on the computer turned on and I was forced to play it. I pressed play, expecting to see the little girl, instead, I was greeted with a big red button. Instictively, I pressed it. I heard an explosion a few houses away. "HOLY SHIT!" I said. "MISTERBOY IS DEAD!" So then I partied. A few minutes later, everyone left and I was forced to play the game again. I began to get scared, because it was streaming my house on an FBI video (I know it's FBI because it has red, white, and blue letters spelling FBI, hyper-realistic letters).
I instantly pressed Alt + F4 (which if you don't know, it totally gives you mega cheats on any game in the world. Make sure you don't save, though) to close out of the game (damn it). The FBI were now outside my door. "WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED, COME OUT NOW WITH YOUR HANDS UP!".
I asked "WHY?".
They said "BECAUSE, I SAID SO."
I went outside with my hands up, only to be greeted with a black hole which gobbled up everything and put us in an alternate universe. Luckily, this alternate universe is exactly the same, except Jupiter has an extra moon.
"Well this was useless," I thought.
I went to the FBI people, and they told me "PUT YOUR HANDS UP AND PARTY!!" He said it so loud, he had to use two exclamation points. We partied all night until 11:59 pm, which was the time we ended the party. I went back inside only to find an Oculus Rift inside my house! "HOLY BALLS I HAVE AN OCULUS FUCKING RIFT". I immediately put it on. There was blackness. I realized there were no wires, so I sold it on e-bay. A few hours later, the Oculus Rift came on, and I thought "OMG IT WORKS". This must be a newer model with wireless technology and it doesn't need battery, because it runs on electricity, which are supplied by the wireless technology. I put it on, and there was white and red. So much red, it was hyper-realistic.
I looked around, only to see a naked female with skinny jeans and a pink shirt on. She was covered in hyper-realistic blood, with hyper-realistic blood dripping from her hyper-realistic eyes on her hyper-realistic face. She had a hyper-realistic body covered with hyper-realistic skin. I said "Hi." and she said "Bye." I immediately began to fall. Not on the oculus rift, but in real life. I realized I was dreaming, so I woke up. Everything that happened in the dream just occurred in real life, except for me falling.
"Well this was useless," I thought.
I got off the Oculus Rift and saw a dead body right in front of me. It was a boy. He was about 34 years, 8 months, 14 days, 7 hours, 9 minutes, and 28.25468 seconds old when I first saw him. He was liked around the house, and his favorite color was brown, his favorite food was a pupu platter. He was covered in hyper-realistic blood. Super hyper-realistic blood, so hyper-realistic, I could see every red blood cell inside of it, almost like it wanted to be as hyper-realistic as possible. He then came to life and asked where his dead mother was.
"I don't know," I said.
He then asked for a cup of sugar, and I gave it to him. He baked a cake, which was covered in hyper-realistic blood. The blood was squirming. It was disgusting, but I had to eat it, or else I would die. I ate it. When I finished my last bite, I waited approximately 0.285673937 seconds, and Justin Bieber popped in my door way! I was so excited! JUSTIN BIEBER IS AT MY FUCKING HOUSE!
I kicked him in the hyper-realistic balls, ran upstairs, grabbed my 10 gauge shotgun, shot him in the face, while making sure he was still alive, played his song "Baby" for him, so that only he could hear it, and then I killed him with 8,999 rusty nails. It was magnificent. I sold him on e-bay and it auctioned for $2,781,735,097.26. I lived a happy life in a log cabin for the rest of my life, being known as the hero who killed the almighty hyper-realistically disgusting Justin Bieber.
THE END.